Dissatisfaction with their marriage or relationship is the most common reason adults seek counseling.
“We enter into relationships when our lives are enhanced and enriched by our interactions with another person having different and unique qualities. Ironically, it is also because they are different and unique from us that conflict and disagreement will arise.”
All couples have disagreements or some troubling times when they may be hurt each others’ words or actions, but usually that is not what puts a relationship into jeopardy.
Rather, it is the couple’s ability to resolve those conflicts and then reconnect into their relationship that maintains a strong bond of intimacy and trust, despite having these challenges. Developing this ability is where counseling can not only help you to work through your current struggles, but also help you make your marriage or relationship richer and more fulfilling.
Marriage Counseling and Couples’ Counseling
There are many unique reasons couples use marriage counseling, but nearly always it boils down to some part of their marriage isn’t going the way they want.
Since your marriage or romantic relationship is so important, when it’s not working well it’s to be expected that you’ll have pretty strong emotions about it. And sometimes those emotions can make thinking clearly, finding reliable answers, or even talking about together much harder to do.
Whether you’re a couple facing a crisis or you have a more general sense something’s just not right with your relationship, the purpose of marriage or couple’s counseling is to find ways that allow for both of you to feel connected and supported in your relationship. There is no “one size fits all” answer, because your relationship truly is the only one of its kind.
So, marriage counseling is a process of helping you to discover your unique ways of resolving conflicts, communicating effectively, and building intimacy and trust. The benefit of using a relationship or marriage counselor is to find what works for you as quickly as possible and help you avoid the unnecessary hardship, struggle, and delays that can come from a trial and error approach.
You can usually have an appointment for your free initial consultation within 2 days. Call: (828) 686-9601
Marriage Counseling for Men…
(honest guys, it really doesn’t have to suck)
Men are often doubtful about using marriage or couple’s counseling and may avoid it or put it off. But does that always mean they don’t value the relationship or that they don’t care about making things better? Not Necessarily. Often they simply don’t trust the counseling itself or that they will be ‘treated fairly’ in counseling. Some common concerns men may have about marriage counseling include:
- They think they will be blamed for all the problems
- They believe it will just involve “talking about their feelings”
- They worry they’re going to feel inadequate
- They believe it will be biased toward the woman’s point of view or style of problem solving
- They’re already feeling guilty or inadequate that there are problems; and don’t want to be embarrassed by talking about it
- They worry they’ll be expected to do things that are awkward and don’t fit for them
- And let’s face it… guys just don’t like asking for help
These are legitimate concerns. Men and women organize information, process issues, and go about solving problems differently. For many decades counselors were mostly women; and counseling did take on some bias towards the more female style of working through things.
But, the vast majority of men I’ve met through many years of leading men’s’ groups have cared deeply about their family and partners, even if they tend to “shut down” when things get difficult. I also know that most men do not find practical solutions they can really use to improve their marriage through a “touchy – feely” approach to counseling. I use a “gender-integrated” approach in marriage and couple counseling, which acknowledges and builds on the natural strengths of both the man and woman to find workable and reliable solutions to their challenges.
Did you know most couples will wait over 6 years after they start having difficulties before they seek out some assistance. Not only is that a LONG time to miss out on the pleasure and joy your marriage can offer, but it also leads to making changes you want more challenging.
You don’t have to wait. Call for a free consultation now at: (828) 686-9601
